Hello, imposter syndrome!

I was teaching a yoga class the other day when my inner critic showed up, I had a few close friends show up to the class which was perfect fodder for the voice of “not me” to go off on a tangent of self-criticism:

“you’re talking way too much, Grace…don’t try so hard.”

“Oops, nice miscue… they definitely don’t think you’re a real teacher.” 

It hurt to hear these statements, but I stayed the course, staying connected to my breath and body, remembering my deeper connection to service as my guide. When the class ended, one of the yogi’s exclaimed: “oh no, it’s already over! You always teach such a great class!” Afterwards, my friends texted me with wonderful feedback and kind words.  I literally laughed out loud at the relief I felt, and the absurdity of my inner critic.  How could my internal experience be so drastically different from other’s perception of me? How can I trust myself when the critic takes over?

For anyone struggling to find and accept themselves: I see you!  Imposter syndrome is a regular part of my life: whether I’m performing, posting a reel, leading a workshop, or doing anything outside my comfort zone.  It has a way of making us question everything about ourselves, whether it’s what to say, how to act, or evaluating your own work as an artist or professional.  When my inner critic gets noisy, my self-esteem starts to plummet and the shroud of self-doubt starts to cover up the foundation of support and self-love I’ve worked to build over the years.  What does it take to feel good about yourself and your work? Why do good moments feel so fleeting? How can we stay in our own good graces without being egotistical or self-centered?

What helps me is to remember two things: 1) that voice of self-doubt is “not me” (as Tara Mohr says) but a part of you seeking to protect your inner child from perceived dangers, emotional risk, or challenges – even good ones.  2) even in the presence of self-doubt and imposter syndrome, we are capable of doing amazing things.  As uncomfortable as it can feel, that voice is *just a voice* which has evolved to be very cunning and persuasive, but is still not grounded in reality or enduring self-support.  

What I have to remind myself of is that our worth on the space-time continuum is constant, regardless of the gigs I’m taking, the work I’m doing, or the thoughts I’m experiencing.  The more I can continue practicing gratitude and self-care, giving myself permission to cry, to be messy, to be unsure; the more easily I can accept the anxiety and know it’s only one part of the story, which, too, shall pass.  

Here are some mantras I’m trying out which I offer to you when your imposter syndrome shows up: 

Wherever I am and whatever I’m doing, I am always worthy of love.  

I love myself regardless of my productivity.  

I am enough exactly as I am.  

Try these out and let me know how it goes. Sending you so much love, friends!!!